Buckshot and Broken Glass

My mind burns with the questions not answered. I'm lost within the maze of my mind. Please let me ask my questions. Let me know the answers that I need. Don't get angry and push me away. Don't look me in the eye and lie. I need your truth and your love. I need to be able to know that you are there. Show me your strength. Take me by the hand. If I fall please catch me, or please fall with me. There are times when I'm scared and need you near. Empty lies make me cry. False love kills all in the end. I need to know that I am safe in your presence that I may once again fly. I want to rise as the phoenix does, to start over new. To rise from the ashes of my faults and my pain.. To show the world that I am strong once more. To show them that I am not see through that I'm not just someone to be used.I  am human. I do have a heart and sometimes a beautiful mind. I do feel love and pain and sadness and bliss and misery and perfection. I'm not just empty space. I'm not just trudging through life. I want to be somewhere and I want to be with someone. I want to matter to the world or at least to someone special. I do love with all my hear, but one can not live on love alone and I'm trying desperately to stay afloat. Is there anyone out there that will stand with me and hold my hand? Is there anyone out there that will keep me from slipping off the cliff? Is there someone that loves me and wants to be there always? Is there someone reading my words?

Dropped like a Rock....Forgotten like the Past...

In my mind and in my heart words fall short.....

Making it to paper sometimes is the only release I have and I just can't hold on...

Falling through this life like a rock I just need a breath...

I just need that last mile to my happiness....

Its so close yet so far...

Falling short of the mark makes me so angry....

The signs of pain all over my mind and heart never seen unless expressed...

She knows me inside and out....

My heart hurts with the bruises unforeseen...

My mind scrambled with so many broken thoughts I cant sort out....

I just need something to go right absolutely 100% right.....

I'd give any thing in the world to make her happy if given the chance.....

I love her I love them all but I fall short just in the reach and my fingers slip from the grip of the cliff 

I fall like a rock forgotten like the past...

But in the memory I hope to be.

Sky Rockets....and Land Mines.....Weird

" Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and die"- Alfred Lord Tennyson


I'm lost in a sea of thoughts tonight...I'm not sure where the tide has decided to take me but I'm just going to let go and find out...my mind is a mess of broken thoughts...so lost am I within myself...to see the world for the happiness it should be...I live to love for love is the reason to live...jumbled thoughts of lostness and need...to feel the arms of love wrap around and bound...lost am I to a place unknown...my happiness forgotten for those around me...I see with my eyes and hear with my ears...I read them with my heart and listen to them with my soul...lost am I to these countless thoughts...sadness and anger tears and rage...laughter and happiness smiling and bliss...mixed up am I lost inside I am...if only to find my true comfort with her...holding back until the time is right...sky rockets and land mines...flying high and falling hard...these words with no sense and no direction...fake sounds of my favorite song vibrate through my ears tonight...it brings me to a calm I've long forgotten...the storm my favorite song I couldn't listen to for a long time...forever...up down left right...questions burn in my mind and in my heart...the whys and the how could yous and the I cant believe yous...lost am I in my own thoughts to calm my life before I come undone....help me someone...someone just please take me by the hand and keep me safe...even for just one night hold me close and never let me go...please...please...please sky rockets fall land mines blow.......save me from my unkept mind